Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
