Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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