and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Mom said you looked used
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
