Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
