Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
