whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
