how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
