I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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