look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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