my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
