Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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