We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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