just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
be right there i have to get my cape
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
