with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
