My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
