i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
