Sponge bath it is.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
