i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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