at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
