i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
