Having a random hookup so left but love u
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
