Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
