i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
