your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
