I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize