youre lurking in front of me
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
