R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize