I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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