Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I think I just sharted jello shots
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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