Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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