who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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