I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
