For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
