I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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