I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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