Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
