quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
