explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
