She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
