better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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