I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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