Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
