Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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