Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
