went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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