I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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