Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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