Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
