Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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