Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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