Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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