I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
