is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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