I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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