Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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