i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
