her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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